Kylie – It kind of sounds like a gay porn title and my gay friends tell me that gay porn is really expensive, so unless Ace gives me free copy and I can simultaneously watch an Asia Carrera flick, I probably won’t review it.īokkie – I think your town needs some Asian immigrants or someone willing to open a Panda Express franchise.Beijing Beef that is gluten-free and refined sugar-free. Liz – If that is the case, then once a week I am desperate. Jessica – I used to think Rock of Love was lame, but then I watched an entire episode and all the fake boobs just helped me fixate my eyes on the TV. Kay – Orange chicken is probably the most popular dish at Panda Express, or as I like to call it “Panda’s” Skibs – You know why the meat was tender…because at my Panda Express there are actual Chinese people making the food. Just for the record, I would like to say that I will NEVER review balut.ĭemondoll – Now that I think about it, there aren’t too many Filipino foods that I’ll eat. Nevis – I’m round like a panda and in the bedroom it’s pretty much an express.Īce – Hmm…It sounds like a gay porn to me.Īngry bob – I enjoy spit when I’m swapping it with a lady friend.Īlex Lifeson – Damn balut. Having to make out with Flavor Flav.Įryn – WHAT? You don’t know the food court wonder that is Panda Express? You should find one…or get franchise information and start one up in your town. Not being able to determine different ethnicities. Eating pets, chicken embryos, or things that can kill you. Rock of Love 2 The Flight of the Conchords album.Ĭons: Not really spicy. Pros: Oishii desu yo! (It’s tasty!) If you like Panda Express’ Sweet & Sour Pork, you’re going to like this. (Nutrition Facts – 5 ounces – 420 calories, 25 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 730 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbs, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein, and 0 grams of Chinese authenticity.) If you’re disappointed to find out that Panda Express isn’t authentic Chinese food, take solace in the fact some genuine Asian dishes can either kill you, make you consume an embryo, or get you to eat something that most people consider a pet. The sauce was supposed to be spicy, but it seemed as mild as the Sweet & Sour Pork sauce, which disappointed me because I love the mui caliente. They even look the same since both dishes have bell peppers and onions. If you like the Sweet & Sour Pork from Panda Express, you’ll like the Beijing Beef because they pretty much taste the same. The meat inside the coating was also tender and the bell peppers and onions were nice and crisp. Crispy beef sounds weird, but it was not crispy like fried chicken, instead its coating had a slight crunch. Also, Miley Cyrus is Hannah Montana.ĭespite not being an authentic Chinese dish, I have to say that I really enjoyed the Panda Express Beijing Beef.
Chang’s is also not authentic Chinese food. Heck, while I’m stabbing you in the heart with chopsticks, I also have to tell you that P.F. I know it feels like I just punched through your chest and ripped out your heart, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom-style, but I have to tell you that Panda Express isn’t real Chinese food. The Beijing Beef, which is made up of crispy strips of marinated beef, with bell peppers and onions in a tangy sweet and spicy sauce, is as authentic as the boobs on Daisy from Rock of Love 2 or the love any of the women on Flavor of Love have for the imp-ish Flavor Flav. However, Panda Express’ Mongolian Beef and their new Beijing Beef are fucking made up. Kimchi and bibimbap are genuine Korean courses.
Pansit and bagoong are real Filipino recipes. Sushi and ramen are authentic Japanese dishes.
But if there’s one thing that you can determine much more accurately, it is the authentic cuisine from each culture. If you have a hard time with the various Asian ethnicities and just lump us all together, don’t feel bad because we Asians can’t determine what specific ethnicity you are either. There’s Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Thai, Filipino and the list goes on. If you’re not of the Asian persuasion, you might have a hard time determining the differences between all of us Asians.
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